distance makes the heart grow fonder?

August 11, 2010

I’m not sure how it happened, but I think I’m kinda, maybe, somewhat, perhaps, a little bit… on the verge of entering into a long distance relationship.  You guys remember how Nate came down to visit last month, right? 

Well, he’s been down THREE times since then.  Correct me if I’m wrong, but 300 miles each way is pretty far to drive three times for just a booty call.

I’ve been a little scared to write about it, out of a silly fear that I’d somehow jinx it… or he’d somehow find these posts, (both of which are highly unlikely) but every time he’s been here it has been nothing but great.  Now, it seems like we’re kind of at that stage where we aren’t together together, but we’re both not really trying to sleep with anyone else (at least, this is what I’ve inferred from our VERY indirect conversations).

So, the real question is: What the hell am I doing? 

Not only is he 300 miles away, but he’s also in the Air Force.  Which means, he spends a good amount of time over seas every month.  I’ve somehow managed to see him every couple of weeks so far (and I’ll see him again in 10 days), but I’m thinking there is some real potential for me to go for much longer stretches without him. 

The last week or so since I’ve seen him have been TORTURE.  Do I really have the capacity to handle something long distance? Do I have the self control?

And it’s not JUST the sex – all contact is pretty scarce while he is overseas.  All of a sudden I feel like a military wife, anxiously awaiting his email to come in from Spain so that I’ll know if he made it there safely.  I’m missing his abundant amount of texts to keep me company during the day.  I’m literally crossing off the days on my calendar until I get to see him again.

But I guess with all things there is a plus side.  He can’t get jealous when I want to hang out with my girlfriends on the weekend, he’s got his own life and will not be expecting to hang out with me every day.  And the freedom that comes with that, I have to admit, is really really nice.

So for now, I’m just seeing where things go and hoping for the best.  (He’s even mentioned taking me snowboarding in the winter.)

10 days and counting,



6 Responses to “distance makes the heart grow fonder?”

  1. citygal Says:

    I’ve been there done that and been back again. It sucks. Now I won’t even date guys who live a train ride away. In fact, more than one bus is pushing it.

    Enjoy it – but don’t close yourself off to other possible options! 🙂

  2. Roxy Says:

    It takes a lot of patience to do the long distance thing, but it can be done.

  3. hotcakes Says:


  4. Starshard0 Says:

    I posted this on your thread in the 20sb forums, but I’ll post it here again. I’d also like to add that I’m in the Army, and am currently deployed to Afghanistan, so I know how rough it can be on both parties involved.

    I’ve been in a long distance relationship for the past 3 years. We eventually got married but we still have to be apart due to my job. It’s been pretty rough, but I think I’ve learned a lot from it.

    My tips for making it work:

    -Contact each other often, but don’t go crazy.
    If you talk to each other too often without it can stress you both out. Take time every day (or every other day, or however often) that you both agree on and make sure you bring something to talk about.

    -Visit each other if you can, but again, don’t go crazy.
    Yes, it might be romantic that he drives five hours every weekend to spend time with you, but is it a realistic expectation? Make sure you take safety and cost into account, and meet each other only as often as you’re both comfortable with.

    -Don’t cheat on your partner.
    This should be a no-brainer, but seriously, if you feel the urge to cheat, you should let your partner know and try to get to the bottom of the issue (lack of physical intimacy, stress, etc.), and if you can’t work out a solution then it’s best to break it off rather than be unfaithful.

    -Have an end goal in mind.
    You want to go to school in L.A., he wants to take over his dad’s business in New York. Figure out something that works for both of you in the end. If you’re dead set about living on the west coast forever and he’s intent on staying on the east coast, it’s not going to work out. End of story. Forcing someone to make a major lifestyle change just to be with you might work in movies, but in the real world it doesn’t work that way. Worst case scenario, you have to break up, it’s better than one of you being miserable for the rest of your lives.

    I look forward to finally living with my (now) wife this spring after more than 3 years of being separated and seeing each other for maybe a total of two months (combined visits).

  5. Getagirl Says:

    Long distance relationship is exciting. But if it’s more than 5 years, it gets boring so you have to keep the flame alive.

  6. Angelica Says:


    I wrote a long post last night, but now sure if you got it. Your post made me want to write one of my own titled “10 Ways to Deal with an LDR” check it out if you want : )

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